Fruits of the Spirit

Ok, so I was laying in the bed last night and something kept running through my mind as it does pretty much every night. Why am i not truly happy? When i say that, i don't mean that im not happy with my life, bc i am. But i feel as though im not truly happy with myself so therefore it shows on the outside. So, i asked God, why don't i feel happy? Why am i always angry with myself and my actions? Why can't i do the things i need to do to be closer to you? Well, so many things kept running through my mind. The main thing was the fruits of the spirit. How can I even remotely get close to God if i don't have the basics in my life like he tells me to do. This being the fruits of the spirit. Well, obviously God knows me and he knows how hard it is for me to just sit down and read the bible..... so i thought why don't I focus on studying the fruits of the spirit and blog about it! So, I am going to start at the beginning and do a fruit a week, and not only am i going to read about them, I am going to do my best to apply it to my life everyday even if it kills me! Then i will come tell you all about it! The good and the bad! I just have to make some changes in my life and i am ready! I think that its pretty hard to not get close to God when you bury yourself in his word and apply it! Duh! So, here it goes!!!!